"bend_my_spoon" "beauty in the breakdown..." And I'm feeling as small as a drop in the ocean....

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And I'm feeling as small as a drop in the ocean.... [entries|friends|calendar]

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[10 Dec 2008|06:34pm]
Drops in the ocean

[29 Sep 2008|01:29pm]
I think I have gotten into poison ivy on this weekends camping trip. I am SO ITCHY! I don't get why i have such insanely craptastic luck!
Drops in the ocean

Today [24 Sep 2008|10:33pm]
Today was really boring, and im sick this just stinks:-/ Goooood night :-)
Drops in the ocean

[30 Aug 2008|10:57am]
You make my head hurt

READ (1)Drops in the ocean

[23 Aug 2008|02:35am]
Hi!! I am so0o sick of this tropical storm, like honestly. I am sick of the bottom of my pants getting soaked, and my feet are constantly gross and soggy. I can't take it anymore!! Get the hell out of here Fay!
READ (2)Drops in the ocean

Recent thoughts [02 May 2008|01:52pm]
[ mood | In pain ]

I have come up with some little bits of knowledge that you should know.

~Always pee before you paint your nails!
~Seriously lift with your knees
~Vicoden can not cure all pain
~Packing really sucks
~If you haven't used something in 6 months chances are you don't need it and won't miss it so toss it because when it comes time to move all your stuff somewhere you will end up throwing it away anyhow.
~Chicken parmesean is awesome

That is all

READ (1)Drops in the ocean

ugh [17 Apr 2008|11:16am]
[ mood | stressed ]

Good lord I am a procrastinator!!! I don't want to pack everything up yet again...


This summer better be fucking awesome
~That is all

I miss you....

READ (1)Drops in the ocean

May 28th 2004 [25 Mar 2008|11:07am]
This post was from May 28th 2004 but I redid it so the old answers are before the  "/"

What is your name?: Victoria/Victoria
Are you named after anyone?: Someone...i suppose i mean im not the first Victoria/Nope
Would you name a child of yours after you?: no/Naw
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: i have noo clue/Victor! LOL
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?:i dont know/No one
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: ha yeah/Maybe, but just because it is too damn long

Your gender:: girl./Female
Single?: yup/No
Birthdate:: May 14th/Same
Your age:: 16/19
Age you act:: I derno/8
Age you wish you were: um whatever/I am content
Your height:: 5`5/Same
Eye color:: hazely brown/Same
Happy with it?: Sure/I wish my eyes were purple
Hair color:: blonde/Brown
Happy with it?:yeh/Yeah
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: Right/Righty
Your living arrangement:: Parental units...://Appartment in Orando
Your family:: same shit/Is crazy
Have any pets?: 2 doggies...etc./A new puppy
Whats your job?: Living (its a full time job)/Student
Piercings?: 1 hole in each/2 holes in each ear
Tattoos?: nope/3
Obsessions?: Music, yg, green tea/The internet, tv
Addictions?: Green tea among others/Crack...I mean uhh lemonade and disney movies
Do you speak another language?: nope/hardly
Have a favorite quote?: yeah/I do what I want
Do you have a webpage?: umm i dont remember.../Nope

Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: actually i try to/Yes
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: some more than others/ Quite
Do you have any secrets?: yeh/ Absolutley, doesnt everyone
Do you hate yourself?: sometimes/Rarely
Do you like your handwriting?: no/No way
Do you have any bad habits?: yes... /Yupp
What is the compliment you get from most people?:do i get compliments.?/I have big boobs?
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? ha...i derno/CrazyLazy
What's your biggest fear?: heights...being alone..(not home alone) alone forever etc./Heights
Can you sing?: mm hmm/ ya
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: no/lol no
Are you a loner?: somtimes/sometimes
What are your #1 priorities in life?: Trying to finish this crapola...of school and s/s/Finish school. have a good summer
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?:yeah.../chea i am the coolest
Are you a daredevil?:ehh depends/Sometimes
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: everything/Somethings I have done in my past kinda bug me but whatevs.
Are you passive or agressive?:depends/Mainly passive, but sometimes passive agressive
Do you have a journal?: online/rarely
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: Stregnths:... being there?Weakness: everything else/ Strengths: I like to think i am a strong person. Weakness: sometimes too strong
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: like everyhing/My chubby tummy
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: it depends/Quite
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: No way...i try to learn from...these mistakes i have made.../Yeah...
Do you think life has been good so far?: kind of. I guess./Sure
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?:Everything i know/Everything is important
What do you like the most about your body? w/e/my small wrists lol weird
And least?: lol w/e/ Tummy
Do you think you are good looking?: Not really. . /Not unless I try to be
Are you confident?: ehh...kinda?/Mostly
What is the fictional character you are most like?:hmm....i denro/Myself
Are you perceived wrongly?: sometimes.../I'm sure

Do You...
Smoke?: no/rarely
Do drugs?: no/all day j/k
Read the newspaper?:Somtimes/Sometimes
Pray?: yeah/Sometimes
Go to church?: yeah/No
Talk to strangers who IM you?: not really.../naw
Sleep with stuffed animals?: yeah /no
Take walks in the rain?: Yes/sometimes
Talk to people even though you hate them?: yeh. . . /lol I dont hate anyone
Drive?: yeah/yupp
Like to drive fast?: yeah..../Yeah but I hardly do

Would or Have You Ever?:
Liked your voice?: sure.../Yes
Hurt yourself?: yes/Yes
Been out of the country?: yes/yes
Eaten something that made other people sick?: no/lol no
Done drugs?: no/only prescription
Gone skinny dipping?: *cough cough* that was a long time ago.../yea
Had a medical emergency?: not that i can remember/Yes
Had surgery?: no/nope
Ran away from home?: ha i ran and sat in a tree for like 3 hours and no one noticed.../lol <--
Played strip poker?: no/No i cant even play regular poker
Gotten beaten up?: well....if u count amy and the potato/<---
Beaten someone up?: not relly/Not really
Been picked on?: sometimes/prolly
Been on stage?: yes! woot fun...today actually:) heeh/Yes
Slept outdoors?: yeah/yes
Thought about suicide?: yes/yes
Pulled an all nighter?: ha yes/yea
If yes, what is your record?: I dunno/no idea
Gone one day without food?: yeah../yeah
Talked on the phone all night?:not alll night/Yeah
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: erm...no/Yeah
Slept all day?: nope what a waste/Naw
Killed someone?: no0o0o0o!/Not yet
Made out with a stranger?: no/Define stranger...
Had sex with a stranger?: no/No
Thought you're going crazy?: yeah...and i think those thoughts are enough to drive u crazy../Yeah lol
Kissed the same sex?: no/No
Been betrayed?: yeah/Yeah
Had a dream that came true?: not that i can think of/Oh yea
Broken the law?: yes/yeah
Met a famous person?: yes/yessss
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: no/no lol
On purpose?: no/no
Been on radio/tv?: no/Yes! for a second
Been in a mosh-pit?: no/Yesss
Had a nervous breakdown?: im not sure../Panic attack but not a whole breakdown
Bungee jumped?: HELL NO/<--
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yees!!/Yes

Belive in life on other planets?: DURF/Yeah
Miracles?: yeh/yeah
Astrology?: not really/I'm undecided
Magic?: not really/I wish
God?: Yes/well I know there is something up there
Satan?: yes/eh
Santa?: nope../Well it is my mom and dad so i believe in them..
Ghosts?: i derno/sometimes
Luck?: never worked for me/lol If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all
Love at first sight?: no/no..but lust at first sight for sure
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: yes/Yes
Witches?: ermm...kinda.../The power of the mind
Easter bunny?: no../no
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yeah../It's possible
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: no.../Nope because rainbows are circles
Do you wish on stars?: yes. . . I do./yes

Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: no not really/nope
Do you think God has a gender?: no not really/Nope
Where do you think we go when we die?: heaven or hell/Somewhere that isnt earth

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: yeah/Yeah
Who is your best friend?: Amy/Amy
Who's the one person that knows most about you?:anyone who wants to../Myself
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: "Let go and let God"/ Just breathe
Your favorite inside joke?: To0o many/Still too many
Thing you're picked on most about?:My attitude if anything/Acting blonde
Who's your longest known friend?: Amy/Amy
Newest?: erm i denro/People from anatomy
Shyest?: Kristin/Amy
Funniest?:...anyone when their hyper/No idea
Sweetest?: everyone/no idea
Closest?: amy/amy
Weirdest?: everyone/amy
Smartest?: i derno/no idea
Ditziest?: Amy/amy
Friends you miss being close to the most?:....whatever...:( /none because if they are gone there must be a reason
Last person you talked to online?: Amy and kristin/Liz, Amy, & Brandon
Who do you talk to most online?: everyone/Amy
Who are you on the phone with most?: umm...i denro/Amy
Who do you trust most?: everyone/No one
Who listens to your problems?: everyone/amy, & brandon
Who do you fight most with?: lol ha...i think we all know that one/No one
Who's the nicest?: all of them/they are all nice in their own ways
Who's the most outgoing?: umm..i denro/none
Who's the best singer?: hmm...amy and kristin/I guess its the same?
Who's on your shit-list?: ha...*dont ask*/no one
Who's your second family?: all my friends are more my family than my fam./Amy's Fam.
Do you always feel understood?: i never feel understood/nope
Who's the loudest friend?: lol i derno.../Nicole
Do you trust others easily? ehh not really.../no
Who's house were you last at?: my own.../Brandons
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in::? whatever *rolls eyes*/brandons?
Do your friends know you?:i think so/eh
Friend that lives farthest away: lol all yg ppl/Nicole

Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: no. . . /No
What do you find romantic?: life/Loads of things
Turn-on?: .../certain personality traits
Turn-off?: .../not wearing deoderant
First kiss?: sweet../a while ago
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: lol...it all depends../Flattered
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: duah../yeahhh
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: not really/no because if you really want to do it you just should
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I dunno/probably not
What is best about the opposite sex?: personalities/<--
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?:ha...indecisive-ness /They can be immature and dumb
What's the last present someone gave you?:o0oh maria gave me theis jar thinggy for my b-day/I have noo idea
Are you in love?: w/e/ya
Do you consider your significant other hot?: if I had one. . . /lol no

Who was the last peson
That haunted you?: can u really tell? /...i dunno
You wanted to kill?: ...whatever.....:(/no one
That you laughed at?: amy /probably amy
That laughed at you?: i denro.../Brandon
That turned you on?: .../...brandon?
You went shopping with?: amy...right..?/I dont even know
To disappoint you?:ha/Everyone disappoints me from time to time
To ask you out?: .../brandon
To brighten up your day?: everyone/ Anyone
That you thought about?: must we ask /no idea
You saw a movie with?:I saw 13 Going on 30 with amy/Horton hears a who with brandon
You talked to on the phone?: amy/amy
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: kristin/amy
You saw?: brother../Brandon
You lost?: :(/...i dunno

Right This Moment...
Are you going out?:no/no
Will it be with your significant other?no/:no because im not going anywhere
Or some random person?../wtf?
What are you wearing right now?: black lose pants and a black shirt/Long sleeved black shirt and jeans
Body part you're touching right now?: i itched my leg/my legs are crossed?
What are you worried about right now?: school. s/s living...
What book are you reading?: living loving & learning/Frontrunner
What's on your mousepad?: i dont have one/<--
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: tired, achy, bored, sleepy,talkative/Bored, Tired, Headachey, Musical,Full, Thirsty
Are you bored?: a little/yeah
Are you tired?: really really/yeah
Are you talking to anyone online?: yes/yes
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no/no
Are you lonely or content?: a little lonley but its making me content/content
Are you listening to music?:no/yes
READ (1)Drops in the ocean

[25 Jan 2008|09:55am]
RAWR! I am a monster! <3
Drops in the ocean

[01 Nov 2007|08:46am]
Rawr!! I am so dang sick of school!!
READ (5)Drops in the ocean

[16 Oct 2007|09:34pm]
[ mood | FUCK ]

God  damn it!!!!!!!!!

My choices are shit or shit!


READ (8)Drops in the ocean

[07 Sep 2007|07:19pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

 As sad as this seems...

I don't really believe in love anymore

READ (11)Drops in the ocean

[31 Aug 2007|05:58pm]
so its been a while. School started last week and its picking up pretty quick. I'm angry with ppl, but I'm trying to let it go but I just can't seem to do it. I have been having a lot of fun hanging out with people. My room is a complete mess, and I don't know what I want to do with my hair. Randomness all over the place

READ (1)Drops in the ocean

Update [06 May 2007|10:47am]
[ mood | aggravated ]

Alright so it is sunday and i have officially been here a week. my mom is going to have to stay with me for a week. the first day i was here i got stuck 5 times by nurses and by stuck i mean stabbed with needles and proded with iv's. and the worst of all is something they call a picc line

They stick a tube that is pretty wide and they used an ultrasound machine to fine a wide vein. then they stuck it in my arm and tried to numb it but that didnt work very well. this procedure causes imense pain, but saves you from getting stuck so many times. I must admit that i cried a lot when they put this in. it was 38 centimeters and you may think that isnt a lot but it is 14.9 inches. of a blue tube that goes from your arm into your chest. I was almost sure this was the worst pain i could endure until last night when they took it out. good God! The worst part is that i am alergic to the good med's like vicoden and dilauded, which are pretty awesome narcotics. and all i can take is tylenol. because alieve and alll that stuff is a blood thinner. basically this whole week has sucked, they put me on happy anti depressent and anti anxiety pills. but it doesnt really help. i slept for an hour last night it was an absolutley horrid night. but i will be going home today. at some point. and i cant move to much so i dont forsee this as even a decent recovery. but whatever. i have to come to the hospital every 3 days for a while for them to check my INR which is how fast my blood clots and all that jazz.  blah to all this screw getting sick. and i think the part that makes me the most mad is they have noooo idea why this happened which freaking sucks. grrrrr.

READ (1)Drops in the ocean

[05 May 2007|11:06am]
[ mood | depressed ]

So I was admited to the hospital on Monday. But at least this time they know what is wrong. I have two pulminary emblisms that are considered massive. One in each lung. If I smoked or had waited another day they don't think I would have made it. I was just allowed to get out of bed to pee starting yesterday. They have NO idea why this happened and I am the new mystery because this apparently never happens to someone so young.  Hospital food freaking blows. And my family has come up to stay and my brother and dad are driving me insane. I am going to be on blood thinners for 6-8 months depending on how the clots clear up.  :-( this is so depressing. I want out like woah

READ (9)Drops in the ocean

[19 Mar 2007|11:31pm]
All I want is someone to hold me and play with my hair and tell me I'm pretty
READ (1)Drops in the ocean

[05 Mar 2007|07:37pm]
I'm a wreck.
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hallo [31 Jan 2007|11:16am]
So I am waiting for my class to begin and well yeah I am bored. Orlando is cool. This weekend was fun. I hope next weekend will be just as good. I am going to Miami soon, and I want to see everyone but i fear that "everyone" is to many. In fact I am pretty sure that is the case. School is boring. Guster is coming. Hi Lester! I miss ppl but i am having fun...that is all
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Fall 2006 [07 Dec 2006|11:24am]
[ mood | pensive ]

    Semester 2 of college is almost completed and I am sitting here in my dorm listening to music as I have done on numerous occasions, but this time I feel myself reflecting on all that is lost. Amy and I went to AMC yesterday where we found the seats in the parking lot, the insides torn out, our memories broken and shattered just as the front doors are. As much as we all knew it would end we always hoped it never would. We said when it was gone we'd be happy....what a bunch of lies. It just feels like every time I get secure and comfortable, it breaks open. This random onset of emotion is mostly brought on by the fact that in a week I will be moving. Yes, in one week I will move out of my dorm...the one place that has felt like home in quite some time. Yes, I will adapt because I do it well but i still reminice about the old times we all used to have.
What I am leaving here is more than a room in a building, it is a family that was forged through experiencing many things together. Not only did we have loads of fun and get caught doing things we should have been doing in the first place, but it was a feeling that i can hardly describe. We lived together we coexisted and I care for these people more than I can understand. I suppose I was honestly blessed with great roommates and great friends here in Miami.
    No, I do not regret my decision to move, I still feel it is right and the best thing for me. Yet again I pack everything of importance to me into small boxes, it is a strange feeling.

~I miss you...I just do.
~Time is limited
~Orlando, ready or not here I come.

READ (6)Drops in the ocean

[30 Sep 2006|09:21am]
[ mood | sad ]

this weekend kinda sucks

Drops in the ocean

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